Welcome to Sh*t I Wish I Knew In My Twenties
We're so happy to welcome you to Sh*t I Wish I Knew In My Twenties - the podcast!
Okay, so I know a lot of stuff. That's why my phone's always pinging. And it makes sense because I've been working, striving, climbing in a pretty competitive career, right? Living, dating, marrying, listening, coaching, learning, studying.
Now I'm making it my mission to share it all, all of it. So you don't have to be as dumb as I once was.
Sh*t I Wish I Knew In My Twenties (SIWIKIMT) is a podcast dedicated to helping 20-somethings thrive in their twenties, not just survive.
Host Debra Alfarone knows how tough being in your twenties can be. As a high-school dropout turned-network-TV-correspondent, she learned most of life’s lessons the hard way and now she wants to share them with you. She overcame the odds and now covers the White House for CBS News nationally. She’s also a confidence coach for young women in the TV news industry.
Today's lesson in ask. Ask and ask. Ask for what? Anything. Anything you want. Here's what I didn't know and what no one told me. The size of your life is directly correlated to the size of your ask. Ask for more money. Ask for that promotion. Ask for that job.
Ask to fill an anchor. Ask for your friend to help you move. Ask for that date. Ask if the person that you're dating is seeing other people. Yeah, that's a good one. Ask if they want kids. Just keep asking. Why? Because you have every right to ask.
Do you even know that you're alive, you're breathing, you're worthy? You're not worthy because of what you've done. You're worthy because you are. So all you can get is a no. And sometimes a no can be a not. Now, if you don't get the job, the promotion, or maybe the chance to fill an anchor. Ask again and again and again. I can't tell you how many times I've asked for things. It's worked in my life, but I found out too late.
And that's why I want to let you know the job I have now. I asked for about eight times. Yeah, eight times. She said eight times. I said eight times. I asked for it a while ago, went on an interview and didn't get it. Okay, gotcha. Then the last go round, I reached out to someone I knew who worked there, who hooked me up with somebody else.
Then I ended up saying, yeah, I'm going to be in New York. I'd love to see you. Went interviewed. They hooked me up with the next person who didn't get back to me. Then I had to ask and ask and ask. Literally, I sent all these emails and called, checked in with the original person, said, I haven't heard, know, got back to her, etc. Finally went to go see her and told her I was going to be in New York when I really wasn't. But I knew that I wanted this job and I knew I was right for it, and I knew this was the right opportunity.
That's all. Then she said, I don't know. I really don't. Really don't really have the stuff I need on this reel. But I'm thinking, girl, I know what I'm doing here. She asked me to send more stuff. I did, and she said, well, I could send your stuff to the person in DC, but I can't guarantee anything. Well, just so happened she did, and it worked.
And I walked out of that interview with this opportunity, and I kind of pinched myself and didn't even believe it. Didn't even tell my friends, didn't tell anybody until the day I was working there because still didn't believe it actually happened. That's another story. That ain't about me. It's about you. Okay? You got to ask. You have to ask for things. Sometimes you might ask to fill anchor, and you don't get it for a while, but eventually, if you keep asking, people will know what you want.
You can't assume they know what you want. You have to ask. You have to be clear, and you have to ask for it. And that, my friends, is some beep that I wish I knew in my 20s.
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